So May has been a VERY busy month for me.
I have had uni hand-in deadlines, assessments (which i’m pretty sure I fluffed up), my job, uni work placement and my YouTube channel to work on! Not to mention getting on with everyday life, family & seeing my boyfriend.
Rhys (my boyfriend) went to Manchester for a week towards the end of May to do some recording with his band so that did give me a bit of free time to focus on things.
Anyway, I have been feeling pretty down with my self this month, my body confidence is zero and I expressed that in one of my most recent videos.
I don’t know why I always feel so down on myself, its a constant vicious circle. Feel down, eat bad, feel down again.
I am always telling myself, tomorrow. Tomorrow I will be a dieting queen, I will be an exercise fanatic and I will be a new person.
Well truth be told, I wake up, maybe have breakfast on plan, go to work and come home and slob watching tv, making the same promise as I did the night before.
Anyway, I am sick of my own excuses now. I have a holiday in September that I have been looking forward to since last October. This is one holiday that I told myself I would look amazing for, and not lack in self confidence like I have for every other holiday I have been on since about 2008.
It is June now (practically) and I have 4 months to get my ass into gear. I need to sort out my will power. Question myself do I really want to lose weight, do I want to fit back into my clothes again? The obvious answer is yes.
But I am my own worst enemy when it comes to weight loss. I can do so well then 1 thing can trigger a downward spiral. Like this week for example, I did so well, then Rhys comes back from Manchester, we had pizza and shared a McDonalds fries and 9 nuggets between us. Then at Rhys’s family gathering the next day I had not 1 but 3 pieces of chocolate cake, 2 of them being covered in double cream!!
I ask myself what is wrong with you Laura!!
Own worst enemy.
So, I am happy to forget last week. And I am looking ahead to the future, I have a holiday to shape up for, no excuses!
I find if I keep up to date with my social media (YouTube, Instagram) then I tend to stay on track more. I just need Rhys to not temp me with pizza! Dammit.
(He is one of those who can eat everything and not put on a single ounce of weight)
So this post here is a pledge to myself, to do it for me. When I go on holiday in September I will fell amazing, and I will be confident in a bikini.
I know I am not going to be a gym bunny like I fascinate about (because I can’t afford gym membership to start with!) but what I would like to do is actually start exercise and keep it up! Use free facilities, YouTube, Apps, DVD’s I already own for example. I need to get over feeling embarrassed at exercising at home.
Start working towards what I keep saying I will!
Size 10 holiday clothes, i’m coming for you!